The pursuit of happiness

I am finding it difficult to be happy… I’m trying really hard to squeeze as much serotonin out of my brain but I keep failing. My pursuit of happiness has led me to create a few assumptions. That if I may be rich and powerful, I may take advantage of certain situations that might squeeze out some extra serotonin. Sometimes talking to friends and laughing seems to release it quite a fair bit. My family hasn’t helped in producing any serotonin so I might give that up pretty soon. I also remember religion helping in that. It is a great source of serotonin. I might try to give that another go. But it’s pretty hard. Religion is a double edged sword. It leaves you open to a lot of hurts that may prohibit any further release from serotonin. I think illusion of friendship is something I need to look into. I think it is due to evolution that when we feel strong bonds to our friends, it emulates notions of teamwork and cooperation which may have been quite useful in the ancient times. We are programmed to release serotonin when we feel close to other human beings. Love is an interesting concept. It fluctuates lots. It’s high risk, high return. I’m quite risk adverse so I might give this a miss. I sometimes feel really empowered to do great things and really help people. Lots of serotonin. Might give it a go when im rich. But fuck me. Realizing that happiness is just that – is making it pretty hard to release serotonin. Maybe I’ll try to forget it. When I see people – living so comfortably – releasing so much serotonin… as they talk to one another. I do feel quite jealous. I can see two of my friends talking and I can only watch enviously their brains,,, releasing shit loads of serotonin. It would be fucking sick if they invented serotonin pills.