.till that day i crawl

Heavy. It feels so heavy. I feel weak. I feel empty. It is all part of the process. Emotions – a ravishing disease of the mind. I work hard to quash miniscule remnants that remain. I practice detachment. Look down at my hands. Veins. Fingernails. Small hairs. Wrinkles. Creases. I look at my chest. My legs. A temporary vessel. Till I’m set free. Till I may one day rest in peace. Till my thoughts plague me no more. Till emptiness complete. Till my existence vanish. Till my worries subside. But for now. I need be hasty. They will know I have been here. They are forgetful. The onus lies with me. Their judgements are but splinters in my soul. Petty. But admittedly. Bothersome I see bulldozed bodies. I see piles of organs. Broken skulls. Rotting flesh. He has gone before me. The fall of a hero. The rise of the prodigy. He has warned them too much. I bank on their forgetfulness. The essence of the holocaust – fading magnificence. I need move with haste. I need sever those bonded. I need see them look. The face of my vessel before their demise. To see life leave slow. To struggles subside. I gaze upon the blood… that ran through him. On my hands. Dripping on to my leg. The vessel that carried oxygen for his function. I release little residue of my disease. Through my eye it comes. I see it mix with his blood. I shall be complete. I need silence to enjoy A mountain of flesh. Til that day, I crawl